Deep Thoughts On Olympics

February 26th, 2010 | Author: Greta

Image via Wikipedia

1. Lindsey Vonn broke her pinkie after another day of crashing into the mountain side at 60 miles an hour. There were whiteout conditions on Whistler Mountain, but with all these injuries, it might be time for her to consider that, maybe, skiing just isn’t her thing. I quit the PTA over much less.

2. Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso have been described as “frenemies.” Why does this surprise anyone? When a blond and a brunette spend a lot of time together, no matter what the arena, the brunette is going to be resentful at some point.

3. South Korea was disqualified in the women’s 1500 meter relay, and yielded the gold to China, the silver to Canada, and the bronzy spot on the podium to the US team who looked like they also thought they were a joke. Why do I think Apolo is going to have to pay for this in the 500 meter sprint?

4. I’m completely stressed out for Dutch coach Gerard Kempkers who, in the 10,000 meter speedskating race, directed his would-be gold medal skater, Sven Kramer, to change lanes which DISQUALIFIED HIM. I can’t imagine the level of guilt that poor coach feels. Ruining someone’s life is not a great thing for a coach to do. I felt the same way when I was a high school drama teacher and I would post the cast list. I can be credited with giving the world a few more surgeons. You’re welcome, world.

5. My husband indirectly stated that the women on the bobsled teams have nice butts. I asked him how he noticed since I was so busy worrying about how they were surviving riding the track upside down with their helmets carving the ice and being EJECTED from the bobsled onto the frozen chute. He said that it was SO EASY TO SEE what their butts look like, and he reenacted the departure where they push the bobsled back and fourth to get momentum and their butts bob up and down. Click here to see this action with a wardrobe malfunction bonus. My husband tried to make up for this remark by saying that he wanted me to be an Olympic bobsledder for Halloween. There really are so many ways to say, I love you.

6. I would like to give a shout out to the real heroes of the Olympics: the unsung champions of the biathlon and curling. It’s true, these athletes are uncelebrated because no one watches them. They conquer in obscurity. You could run into a three-time gold medal biathlete at Safeway and never even know it. It’s one thing to fail in private, it’s another to be the best in the world IN PRIVATE. You could die from the irony alone. And it sort of defeats the purpose of conquering the world if no one knows about it. And while we are in the safety of our living rooms or having a pleasant experience buying dishes at Target, they are having the (race? what do you call it?) of their lives. And we don’t even KNOW we’re missing it. We just shop away while they ski, breathe heavily, and shoot things. Or push things while lunging as their teammates sweep ice, quite furiously. On the other hand, Apolo Anton Ohno eats a burrito and we all know about it. It’s on the news at 5, 11 and it continues to be replayed into the wee hours of the morning. Yes, he’s good at what he does, but it’s the unsung heroes of the sports we don’t even try to like who are the truest champions.