How do you say I’ll never need anything more in my life, like the not-that-attractive Pottery Barn sofa for $3,600 or a luxury cruise on the Baltic Sea or a full-time, live-in, round-the-clock, overworked yet overjoyed, salaried housekeeper?  You say it with tomatoes, basil, garlic and olive oil on French bread.  That’s how you say it.  And now, I’m going to help you make it.

You will win friends and influence eaters with this recipe.  No one will look at you the same again.  They will love you.  Not for you, but for your bruschetta.  They will want to see you more often.  They will associate you with magic of good food.  That’s almost as good as owning a speed boat that they want to use.  It’s a close second or third, for sure.  And that might be good enough.

Make this for appetizer for your Valentine, either before the romantic feast you prepared at home or before you go out to eat.  Pre-gaming isn’t just for sports anymore.  Open a bottle of sparkling wine and sit and talk about what breed of dog you’d be if you were a dog.

• Chop some ROMA TOMATOES.  Remove the seeds and pulp or it will be very mushy.  It’s important that you respect your bruschetta.

• Chop up a few BASIL leaves.  Inhale the righteous vapors, Bra.

• Chop a clove of GARLIC, drop it in, and make the tomatoes and basil deal with it.

• Dump in a lug or glug of OLIVE OIL.

• Season with ROCK SALT to taste.

• Mix.  Taste.  Chill.  Oh, and put it in the fridge.

• Slice some SOURDOUGH or FRENCH or ITALIAN BREAD.  Toast it.  Then rub a clove of GARLIC on both sides.  Prepare to levitate.

• Place bread slices around a bowl of the tomato mixture.  Drizzle with OLIVE OIL.  Let them eat bruschetta.

Make this and prove to the world that simplicity is culinary gold, the universe is in a grain of sand, and I have never seen an episode of Dallas.  It’s true.  Not one episode.  My parents didn’t watch it and neither did I.  Yes, the impossible is possible here at SavingPrivateMommy.com.  Right here.  Make that recipe, and see how I missed an important piece of television history.  And Happy Valentine’s Day!

We’re celebrating 14 Days of Love and Food!  Check back tomorrow for another heart-shaped blog.

REPOSTED SHAMELESS PROMOTION AND RED ALERT:  If you like this blog, please vote for Saving Private Mommy on Babble.com.  Enough votes could make Greta go viral.  She’s always wanted to be a virus.  Go to Babble’s website and click ‘alphabetical’ just above the names of the nominated sites.  You’ll find Saving Private Mommy on or around page 9. Greta thanks you for your support!  That link, if you missed the first 2 times, is right here.  Oh thank you, oh thank you!  Here it is again.  And again.  One last time.  Bye!

Just in case you forgot.

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