Seize Her! Caesar Salad
Some things are bold, odiferous, and take over your entire being. And despite this, you really like them. Great warriors come to mind. They conquer the land, storm the castle, capture the fair maiden, and miraculously, she falls hopelessly in love with him and sits by his side saying, “yes, sire,” while he makes serfs of all her family, friends and neighbors. The same is true of the salad that comes of the recipe below.
Make it for your Valentine, so that his/her breath and your breath will create a garlic-powered force field and neither of you will perceive the gaseous gourmet vapors emitting from your esophagi. (I think I am the first person in my family to use the plural form of esophagus. I hope my mom is beaming in front of her backlit screen.) And with the salad you will be able to Seize Her or Seize Him into your good graces. The power of garlic is infinite.
- We have a strict No Measuring rule here at Savingprivatemommy.com. Have your courage ready.
- In a big bowl, squirt some ANCHOVY PASTE (maybe a couple of tablespoons worth). Add a clove of minced GARLIC, a few healthy squirts of a LEMON wedge, several dashes of TABASCO or other RED PEPPER SAUCE, a dollop of DIJON MUSTARD, and maybe a third of a cup of OLIVE OIL. And a pinch of ROCK SALT.
- Whisk it. Taste it. If it’s too pungent, add more oil. If it needs more kick, try more Dijon or pepper sauce or lemon, but probably not more garlic and anchovy paste. Too much garlic can cause enough gas to literally launch your esophagus into orbit. Actually, I’m kidding. But you might feel like it will, especially if you smoke pot and eat too much garlic.
- Add 2 to 3 hearts of ROMAINE LETTUCE. Grate some PARMESAN CHEESE and toss like there’s no tomorrow. Lettuce without dressing is naked. Don’t demean your lettuce. Clothe it as you would your newborn babe in 30-below weather. Crack some BLACK PEPPER over the top.
- Oh, and don’t forget the croutons! Break some pieces of FRENCH BREAD and sauté them in a bit of OLIVE OIL. That’s it, no seasoning necessary. Believe.
Good luck in not wanting to eat this every night, instead of McDonald’s even. If you try this recipe, I’d like to ask that you give yourself a hug and a high-five afterward. You deserve it for having made a Caesar salad WITHOUT RAW EGG IN IT. If you haven’t decided whether or not you will take on this adventure, click on the photo and behold the tapestry of sumptuous ingredients.
Check back with Greta tomorrow for Day 3 of her 14 Days of Love and Food Fest. Next up are recipes for an appetizer, dessert, and the main dish, along with other musings about Valentine’s Days and the people who love them.

Mommy, you’ve performed a true public service here. It is long past time for the world to embrace their inner passion for anchovies and this Caesar Salad recipe removes their last hurdle towards bliss.
Anchovies – they’re not just for pizza anymore!
Your recipe and description of the salad made me drool. Can you make a vegetable-free version of this salad so that my Crohn’s doesn’t make me regret it?
Which makes you feel safer, Chang Noi? Anchovies in a tube or raw eggs in the carton and out of your salad?
Do it like the French. Take some bread and mop up that dressing. Now that’s a way to tell your Crohn’s Disease to stick it. No veggies, huh? Can you eat cake?